Listening, I let the crash of the waves beyond the cliffs drown out the haunted screams that dwell in my head. It’s been years since Seraphine made a full recovery, and I lost something so precious to me. Eldric.
I watched as he grew into the man he was, and I also watched as he burned at his father’s hand. I hang my head as a lone tear moved from my lid and down my cheek, wetting each minute hair on its surface in its wake.
I was there the day that Master Eldric was brought home. I stood on the porch, lined up with the other servants, prepared to greet the Hawthornes and their new bundle of joy. And what a bundle, indeed. That silky black hair that had sat atop his head from even the time he was born, shone all the beauty of his mother within each of its fibers.
I wipe the remnants of the tear off of my face and take a deep breath, clearing my throat slightly and looking back across the expanse of the manor’s grounds. This is what I do. I allow myself to shed a tear for Master Eldric in the morning, and a tear for my beloved in the evening.
I can almost see her dancing there on the front lawn, near the fountain that she loved to twirl around in the moonlight. Forbidden and taboo as my love for her was, it was true and deep. She is the reason I am still tethered here to this manor and its occupants within. She is the reason for everything. She always was.
* * *
As I move back inside the manor I run across Ms. Seraphine bounding down the stairs.
“Oh, Stanley, good. Have you seen Bram?” She asks out of breath.
“No, Madam. I was on my break outside.” I point toward the door where I had just entered.
She puts her hands on her hips and looks to the ceiling as she tries to catch her breath.
“Is anything the matter Ms. Hawthorne?” I ask.
“No, I was just trying to find him to help me move something in the…in a room. One of the rooms, upstairs.” She awkwardly finishes.
I know exactly which room she must be referring to, but I steel my lips from grinning.
“Well, I haven’t seen him, but if I do, I will be sure to send him your way. To the playroom,” I say with a grin.
Her cheeks redden, and she snickers. “Stanley! You truly do pay more attention around here than I give you credit for.”
I almost laugh at her, but I haven’t laughed in so long. Hell, there hadn’t been laughter inside these walls until Ms. Seraphine showed up. And then after Master Eldric passed, laughter was gone again for a time.
This manor seemed like its own organic entity, taking on iniquitous and wickedness as its personality. It costs something to live here. It costs everyone.
“Well, thank you anyway, Stanley.” She smiles warmly as she pats my arm gently.
She is one of the only ones who can touch me, but she knows how long I’ve gone without touch and human contact. So, she doesn’t push me too far. This past Christmas, however, she gifted me a full-on hug as I sobbed into her hair for the present.
I watch her round the stairs and head into the small kitchen that lays behind it. Long after she’s gone I still feel her touch on my arm. And it makes me miss my love even more.
Now that her room is once again vacant, I frequently stand in front of it and touch her nameplate, rubbing off any imperfections or dust particles that have befallen it. Coraline it reads. I close my eyes and envision the night that had changed my life forever. The night I had snuck behind this very door and touched what belonged to another man.
The door opens, and her beautiful blue irises stare at me through the small opening she’s allowed to be agape.
“Why have you come? Is everything alright?” She asks.
My heart is pounding so loudly, I can’t tell if her voice is timid, or if its machinations are causing me difficulties with my hearing.
“Nothing, Mistress. I just wanted to speak with you,” I tell her, looking left and right down the hall to make sure we’re not being watched. “May I come in?” My eyes find hers once more.
She unfurls the door and lets it swing wide open for me to enter. I move past her, taking in her floral and vanilla scent. It’s maddening to be within reach of her, the smell of her alone was overtaking my senses and my body. My pants seemed to get tighter in her presence.
The door clicks closed, and she turns toward me, covering her breasts with her arms.
“What do you need to talk to me about? I was about to...”
“About to go whirl in the moonglow? I know,” I cut her off, rasp evident in my voice as it shakes to get my words out.
She lets her arms fall slowly to her sides, taking me in, waiting for me to speak or make a move.
“The other night...”
This time it’s her who cuts me off, when she says, “we can pretend it never happened. I wasn’t in my right mind.”
“Weren’t you?” I quirk a brow.
She lets her head drop, but I can see the smirk that she lets pull her beautiful lips taut.
I stalk closer to her, moving slowly. “I reacted badly, and for that I’m sorry. But I’ve thought of nothing else since your lips touched mine. Nothing. I’m a man with many duties in this manor, and yet all I can think of is touching you, being with you, kissing you,” I breathe as I lift her chin with my thumb and forefinger.
She lets out a slow breath as her eyes droop slightly, arousal flooding her features in a beautiful smolder of rouge beneath her skin.
“I have thought of nothing other than you since the night our eyes met in the hall. When I touch myself, I let my mind wander to ruminations of you, and what you would do, if allowed.” Her eyes flick open immediately once she realizes what she’s admitted to me.
I move my face closer to hers, lips a hair away from touching, and whisper, “damn the rules, and damn him, you are mine.”
She dissolves the distance between our mouths and joins them, throwing her arms around my neck. I back her up, toward the thick door, the very one I’d been terrified to rap on only moments earlier. My hand winds around her throat, tipping her chin upward toward me more, opening her to me further. When I slip my tongue into her mouth, she moans into my mouth, and I growl into hers.
“What are we doing?” She says hands on my chest.
“Living. We are not going to become specters inside this home before we’re dead. We are going to fucking live, sweet siren.”
“Stanley?” Master Elias’s voice wakes me from my dreamscape, and I wipe the tear that has escaped me early, long before I usually allow it to.
“Are you okay?” He asks lowly.
I nod.
His gaze lifts to where my fingers still lay splayed across the nameplate of her door, and I pull it back as if burnt.
“ I am fine. Just got lost in a memory,” I tell him.
His hand comes down on my shoulder. It doesn’t burn as much as Ms. Seraphine’s does. “We all get stuck in those from time to time. Just let us know if you need anything at all. If we can do it, we shall.”
I nod but feel the anger begin to rise as I quickly stamp it back down. Things between all of us would never be the same. Not after what they’d allowed Eldric to do. Not after I lost him. Parts of me realize that we all lost him, but there are still parts that feel like I lost the most.
He was my connection to her. I could look at him as he slept and see her face more clearly. Now, the Hawthornes that I truly loved are gone. Bram looks more like his father, and the anger that I carry for that man sometimes clouds my judgment when speaking to Master Bram. I have learned to try and nip it in the bud before it gets too out of hand, but it does happen.
We all lost, indeed. But sweet Coraline and I had lost the most. I get angry a lot that she isn’t here with me, but then a wave of guilt washes the emotion away and logic takes its place. If she were here, she too would have had to lose him twice. She would have never been the same from watching him burn.
One thing was for certain; however, she would have been proud of him for the sacrifice he’d made those years ago for Ms. Seraphine. She would have been so proud, indeed.
I touch her name once more before moving down the hallway toward the stairs. I kiss my fingers and press the same kiss I leave her daily onto the cold, gold plate.
“I miss you, my love. So much,” I tell her.
Hawthorne Manor claimed so much from all of us. I could only hope that it was done.
To be continued...Listening, I let the crash of the waves beyond the cliffs drown out the haunted screams that dwell in my head. It’s been years since Seraphine made a full recovery, and I lost something so precious to me. Eldric.
I watched as he grew into the man he was, and I also watched as he burned at his father’s hand. I hang my head as a lone tear moved from my lid and down my cheek, wetting each minute hair on its surface in its wake.
I was there the day that Master Eldric was brought home. I stood on the porch, lined up with the other servants, prepared to greet the Hawthornes and their new bundle of joy. And what a bundle, indeed. That silky black hair that had sat atop his head from even the time he was born, shone all the beauty of his mother within each of its fibers.
I wipe the remnants of the tear off of my face and take a deep breath, clearing my throat slightly and looking back across the expanse of the manor’s grounds. This is what I do. I allow myself to shed a tear for Master Eldric in the morning, and a tear for my beloved in the evening.
I can almost see her dancing there on the front lawn, near the fountain that she loved to twirl around in the moonlight. Forbidden and taboo as my love for her was, it was true and deep. She is the reason I am still tethered here to this manor and its occupants within. She is the reason for everything. She always was.
* * *
As I move back inside the manor I run across Ms. Seraphine bounding down the stairs.
“Oh, Stanley, good. Have you seen Bram?” She asks out of breath.
“No, Madam. I was on my break outside.” I point toward the door where I had just entered.
She puts her hands on her hips and looks to the ceiling as she tries to catch her breath.
“Is anything the matter Ms. Hawthorne?” I ask.
“No, I was just trying to find him to help me move something in the…in a room. One of the rooms, upstairs.” She awkwardly finishes.
I know exactly which room she must be referring to, but I steel my lips from grinning.
“Well, I haven’t seen him, but if I do, I will be sure to send him your way. To the playroom,” I say with a grin.
Her cheeks redden, and she snickers. “Stanley! You truly do pay more attention around here than I give you credit for.”
I almost laugh at her, but I haven’t laughed in so long. Hell, there hadn’t been laughter inside these walls until Ms. Seraphine showed up. And then after Master Eldric passed, laughter was gone again for a time.
This manor seemed like its own organic entity, taking on iniquitous and wickedness as its personality. It costs something to live here. It costs everyone.
“Well, thank you anyway, Stanley.” She smiles warmly as she pats my arm gently.
She is one of the only ones who can touch me, but she knows how long I’ve gone without touch and human contact. So, she doesn’t push me too far. This past Christmas, however, she gifted me a full-on hug as I sobbed into her hair for the present.
I watch her round the stairs and head into the small kitchen that lays behind it. Long after she’s gone I still feel her touch on my arm. And it makes me miss my love even more.
Now that her room is once again vacant, I frequently stand in front of it and touch her nameplate, rubbing off any imperfections or dust particles that have befallen it. Coraline it reads. I close my eyes and envision the night that had changed my life forever. The night I had snuck behind this very door and touched what belonged to another man.
The door opens, and her beautiful blue irises stare at me through the small opening she’s allowed to be agape.
“Why have you come? Is everything alright?” She asks.
My heart is pounding so loudly, I can’t tell if her voice is timid, or if its machinations are causing me difficulties with my hearing.
“Nothing, Mistress. I just wanted to speak with you,” I tell her, looking left and right down the hall to make sure we’re not being watched. “May I come in?” My eyes find hers once more.
She unfurls the door and lets it swing wide open for me to enter. I move past her, taking in her floral and vanilla scent. It’s maddening to be within reach of her, the smell of her alone was overtaking my senses and my body. My pants seemed to get tighter in her presence.
The door clicks closed, and she turns toward me, covering her breasts with her arms.
“What do you need to talk to me about? I was about to...”
“About to go whirl in the moonglow? I know,” I cut her off, rasp evident in my voice as it shakes to get my words out.
She lets her arms fall slowly to her sides, taking me in, waiting for me to speak or make a move.
“The other night...”
This time it’s her who cuts me off, when she says, “we can pretend it never happened. I wasn’t in my right mind.”
“Weren’t you?” I quirk a brow.
She lets her head drop, but I can see the smirk that she lets pull her beautiful lips taut.
I stalk closer to her, moving slowly. “I reacted badly, and for that I’m sorry. But I’ve thought of nothing else since your lips touched mine. Nothing. I’m a man with many duties in this manor, and yet all I can think of is touching you, being with you, kissing you,” I breathe as I lift her chin with my thumb and forefinger.
She lets out a slow breath as her eyes droop slightly, arousal flooding her features in a beautiful smolder of rouge beneath her skin.
“I have thought of nothing other than you since the night our eyes met in the hall. When I touch myself, I let my mind wander to ruminations of you, and what you would do, if allowed.” Her eyes flick open immediately once she realizes what she’s admitted to me.
I move my face closer to hers, lips a hair away from touching, and whisper, “damn the rules, and damn him, you are mine.”
She dissolves the distance between our mouths and joins them, throwing her arms around my neck. I back her up, toward the thick door, the very one I’d been terrified to rap on only moments earlier. My hand winds around her throat, tipping her chin upward toward me more, opening her to me further. When I slip my tongue into her mouth, she moans into my mouth, and I growl into hers.
“What are we doing?” She says hands on my chest.
“Living. We are not going to become specters inside this home before we’re dead. We are going to fucking live, sweet siren.”
“Stanley?” Master Elias’s voice wakes me from my dreamscape, and I wipe the tear that has escaped me early, long before I usually allow it to.
“Are you okay?” He asks lowly.
I nod.
His gaze lifts to where my fingers still lay splayed across the nameplate of her door, and I pull it back as if burnt.
“ I am fine. Just got lost in a memory,” I tell him.
His hand comes down on my shoulder. It doesn’t burn as much as Ms. Seraphine’s does. “We all get stuck in those from time to time. Just let us know if you need anything at all. If we can do it, we shall.”
I nod but feel the anger begin to rise as I quickly stamp it back down. Things between all of us would never be the same. Not after what they’d allowed Eldric to do. Not after I lost him. Parts of me realize that we all lost him, but there are still parts that feel like I lost the most.
He was my connection to her. I could look at him as he slept and see her face more clearly. Now, the Hawthornes that I truly loved are gone. Bram looks more like his father, and the anger that I carry for that man sometimes clouds my judgment when speaking to Master Bram. I have learned to try and nip it in the bud before it gets too out of hand, but it does happen.
We all lost, indeed. But sweet Coraline and I had lost the most. I get angry a lot that she isn’t here with me, but then a wave of guilt washes the emotion away and logic takes its place. If she were here, she too would have had to lose him twice. She would have never been the same from watching him burn.
One thing was for certain; however, she would have been proud of him for the sacrifice he’d made those years ago for Ms. Seraphine. She would have been so proud, indeed.
I touch her name once more before moving down the hallway toward the stairs. I kiss my fingers and press the same kiss I leave her daily onto the cold, gold plate.
“I miss you, my love. So much,” I tell her.
Hawthorne Manor claimed so much from all of us. I could only hope that it was done.
To be continued…
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